Divine Qualities

So I went to re-read my lovely blog and uncovered something I've written that I meant to talk further about.

1. Self-confidence 
2. Sincerity 
3. Ambition 
4. Absolute honesty

The Critical Characteristics of a Dedicated Witch

1. My self confidence lacks in several area's. (though, for some reason, my self confidence is highest when I'm with my mate.)
2. I am often very sincere, depending on who it is. I've unfortunately learned my mothers trick of always acting sincere even when you don't give a damn. How Christian, right?
3. I have been kicked so much by my ex that he got me to believe, even still, that I have no talent, I will never amount to anything, I will never succeed. Thankfully the man I'm with now is helping undo this.
4. This one may be my undoing. I am polyamorous and neo-pagan, looking into Wicca and becoming a Witch. Maybe ten people know I'm polyamorous, merely because I can't help but brag about my man. I've only told my bf about my Wiccan desire, and he may have told his other woman but I don't mind if she knows. To the rest of the world I'm a single Christian mother.

Fixing the problems?

Self Confidence
I read on The Celtic Connection's Forums that a moonstone had been used to boost self confidence. It worked better than the Witch had intended, but that's not the point. I will be looking into stones and their uses, possibly acquiring one for the use of boosting my self confidence.

Sincerity
I don't know how to remedy my false sincerity. It seems rude to be be blunt and outright say: I just don't care. But that is the honest thing to do. It's going to be a long road before I get here.

Ambition
My main issue with ambition is the damaging words my ex made me believe. Until I can be rid of his voice in my head, I will have to come up with goals and figure out how to go about reaching them. Though without ambition, the will to reach them will be hard to find.

Absolute honesty
This one feels outright impossible at the moment. Even just my parents. I've been dating this wonderful man for over a year, and they have their suspicions, but I've never been honest with them about my love life. To top it off, I can't tell them about my beliefs. In some way I feel like I may burst into flame if I walk into a Christian church. Which makes no sense if you believe in pantheism. (Which, so far, I do)

I will need divine guidance to achieve these qualities in the purest of their form. I have got to start collecting books.

On another note, I need to look into black onyx. I read on TCCF that it helps absorb negative emergy around you. This will be so helpful for two specific people: My ex husband, and my boyfriends very Protestant mother.