Mabon

Autumn equinox is coming up (sep 23) and this is the first time I'm getting to celebrate a Pagan holiday or as we call it, a Sabat.

Now Mabon is the second harvest of the season but I don't have plants to harvest. But I am going to plant something. Flowers as well as tomato and some peppers. Thinking about a third veggie but not sure yet.

Using Stones and Gems

Have I posted something like this before? ... I'm looking for advice on grounding, and more importantly, shielding. I came across a small list of stones and their uses. (you may have to create an account to view the link.)

Shielding: Ruby
Protection: Agate, Amber, Sardonic, Tourmaline, any gem that is the color black also helps.
Grounding: Aconite, Hematite, Unakite

Other stones I'm interested in (based on description alone). I highlighted specifically why I would like them.

Adventurine- A good luck stone, especially in financial matters. Stimulates creativity, intelligence and perception. A great healing stone, it gives a sense of mental and emotional well-being.

Amethyst - increases vivid dreams, relieves depression, promotes calm, serenity, and spirituality. Helps with addiction and stress.

Resprays - soothes heartache and helps depression, promotes emotional balance, wisdom, and peace. 

Citroen - helps digestion and aids in mental and intellectual functions. Increases selfsame and energy. Balances and dissipates negative energy.

Coral - helps in childbirth and adoption. Wards off bad thoughts from others and promotes general welling. 

Emerald - a mind stone. Enhances memory, promotes clear and quick thinking, and right action stemming from right thought.

Jade - wisdom, mercy, humility, generosity, peace, and harmony. Protective and lucky when worn as jewelry. Place a bit under your pillow at night for restorative dreams.

Leopard Skin Jasper - aids in finding and achieving life's goals.

Malachite - strong stone which helps release negative emotions and protect from psychic attack..

Onyx - good protective stone. Also releases old relationships and keeps away general negativity.

Rodent - self-affirmation and selfless. Fosters ability to remain calm in arguments and resolve disagreements in a loving way.

Sapphire - promotes light, pure emotions - purity of mind, serenity, joy, and peace. Opens the mind to beauty and love. Clears the mind of unwanted thoughts.

Topaz - soothes physical pain, promotes peace and calms emotions, as well as promoting forgiveness. Promotes individuality, self-confidence, and creativity. Counteracts negative emotions.

Turquoise - healing stone. Attracts friendships, luck, and happiness. Releases shame and guilt.

STONE COLORS (they included it.. thought I would too)

Black - strong protection from negative energies. Reduces fears, obsessions, neurosis, and panic with a calm rootedness. 

Pink - promotes compassion, love and healing of emotional pain.

Green - cleanses and detoxifies the spirit, brings prosperity.

Blue - helpful with verbal, speech, and throat problems. Mental peace and patience. 

Watermelon - heals old emotional pains and brings emotional understanding.

Lotion bars (any flavor you like)

I don't use lotion. But this would be perfect for gifts, because I know people who like lotion.

I wonder if I'd use these if I used rose scent.. I love rose.. or lily!

Lavender (or your desired fragrance) Lotion Bars

Makes 3 - 2 oz. bars

Ingredients:
2 ounces Beeswax - shredded or grated
2 ounces Coconut Oil
2 ounces Shea Butter or Cocoa Butter
10 - 20 drops Lavender Essential Oil (or your favorite)
1/4 teaspoon Vitamin E Oil (preservative)

Instructions:
1. In a small saucepan over low heat, melt the beeswax, coconut oil and shea or cocoa butter just until they become liquid. Immediately remove from heat. Let cool 5 minutes.
2. Stir in the essential oil and the vitamin E oil. Pour into 2 ounce molds. (I used some small copper jello molds I purchased at a second hand shop). Set aside until cool and solid.
3. Unmold the bars and store in a cool, dry place. (After cooling overnight I wrapped mine in plastic wrap)
4. To use, rub over skin and then rub in as you would any lotion.

Vinegar of the 4 Thieves

Vinegar of the 4 thieves has been around for centuries, in various forms and recipes. The legend goes that during the era of the Black Plague, 4 thieves were caught stealing from the houses of the dead, and sentenced to remove the dead bodies from houses to the crematorium. If they survived, they could go free. One of the thieves was an herbalest and came up with this preparation to keep them alive. It is true that many of the herbal ingredients have been used over the years as effective insect and rodent repellants. Over the years it has been incorporated into many magickal systems to be used for protection purposes.

Vinegar preparation for house blessings, protection, hex breaking, pest removal

1 Quart distilled white vinegar
2 Tbsp. dried sage
2 Tbsp. dried rosemary
2 Tbsp. dried lavender flowers
2 Tbsp. dried mint
2 Tbsp. dried wormwood, or 2 Tbsp. wormwood-containing absinthe
2 Tbsp. red wine
3 cloves garlic, smashed and coarsely chopped
1-Qt. glass jar with tight-fitting lid

Fill a 1-Qt. glass container almost to the top with the vinegar. Add the dried herbs to the container one at a time, infusing them with protective energy in whatever way your tradition dictates. Add the absinthe, if using. Pour the red wine over the safety pin and drop the pin into the jar. The wine is being used in this preparation as a symbolic substitute for blood. Tightly close the jar and give it a good shake. Store in a cool, dark place for two weeks, shaking the jar once a day. After the two weeks is up, strain the herbs out of the preparation and transfer to a new, clean, 1-Qt. jar, retaining the safety pin in the jar. Add the garlic and again tightly seal, shaking the jar. Continue to shake the jar once a day for 3 days, then strain out the garlic, again retaining the safety pin in the jar. Your vinegar is ready for use for protection magick, house blessings, hex breaking, and as a very effective bug spray (skin safe).

Am I a Kitchen Witch? I will be.. :)

So I think I may choose to dabble in Kitchen Witchery. I've been cooking more from scratch anyway, and healthy is on my mind more and more.

First kitchen witch link I read. This is about.com, I seem to go there a LOT for... everything.. from tips on the games I play, to 'how to' and craft articles. It's also the first link in google.. They suggest having something you can move around easily (like a candle, what I'll probably do) and put it atop the kitchen alter (aka the stove, since it is a modern day hearth) keep fresh herbs if possible, and read up on Feng Shui. Oh! And they mention finding a cookbook.. of Magickal Recipes. (something you can keep in your kitchen, not your BOS)

First link had more info on WHAT. Second link has more info on HOW. They include recipes for Beverages, Bread, Breakfast, Campfire Recipes, Casseroles & One-Dish Meals, Lotions/Potions and Crafts, Magical Desserts, Main Dishes, Salad, Side Dishes, Snacks, Soups, and Stews. Though they don't have a ton of recipes, it gives me a great starting point (FOR FREE!)
*see below for revision*

But wait, there's more!

I'm also in the process of searching Llewellyn for 'kitchen', 12 results. Half of those books look promising, two of those "promising" were novels (interesting, but not what I want). I ended up wanting five, but saving seven links just to look over later.. Like I said I need FREE.

Books I saved include:

1. Celtic Folklore Cooking
2. A Kitchen Witches Cookbook

1. OMG this looks fantastic! The author went to Ireland four times in search of people who still use their ancestors recipes, and she published not only the recipes, but stories that go along with them, and appropriate holidays associated with them..

Ok so I'll shut up and go save the links to the shirts I want from Anne Stokes..


*EDIT* So I just noticed on the second link I posted, they're ending their website in November 2014 with a link to another version of the site. On first glance they look about the same, but I feel the need to post both.

Celtic Goddess for Kids

Oh my gosh! I found a fantastic page on facebook, called Southern Hemisphere Pagan, and this article is copied and pasted from them.. I wrote none of it. This is a beautiful article though. (the photo was used in the article too)

Fauna II by KayleighJune on deviantART

Damara (pronounced “duh-MAR-uh”) is a Celtic Goddess of the British Isles, known to rule over youth, innocence, and the imagination. Damara is also recognized as Queen of the Fairies and the protector of the inner-child and children in general. She rules over maintaining their purity along with keeping their sense of wonder and faith toward the world around them.

Garland Day, on May 13 (Northern Hemisphere), is a holiday that is only celebrated in very few small English villages. It is related to the Damara, Goddess of fertility who was worshipped in Britain. She is associated with the month of May. Her name means ‘gentle’ and is considered sweet and a rather docile Goddess. She helps bring peace and harmony to families within quarrelsome households. She was also deemed the protectress of young children and entrusted with keeping their sense of wonder and faith toward the world around them.

It is no wonder that Garland Day is a day for the children of the village. It is a day that they usher in the arrival of Spring by weaving flowers, garlands, and depositing them around the village, sometimes leaving them on the doorsteps of strangers or hanging them from poles. By doing this, the villagers believe that they will receive the blessings of Damara and will be ensured a bountiful harvest the upcoming year.

Damara’s themes are fertility, health, luck, kindness, abundance. Her symbols are flowers and green items. Damara’s message is one of guiding children. If you have your own children, spend some time with them, perhaps playing and enjoying their company. Take care of your own inner child too! Go on and have some fun today! Reconnect with that sense of awe and discovery that you felt when you were a child and learning about the world and he universe. Believe in fairies, believe in angels, as they are all around.

Source: Goddess-guide.com
Debbie Wolf Reeves
http://goddesses-and-gods.blogspot.com.au/2011/09/goddess-damara.html365 Goddess: a daily guide to the magic and inspiration of the goddess by Patricia Telesco
Image: http://kayleighjune.deviantart.com/art/Fauna-II-342617065

Witchy Update

It's been a minute since I posted. Anyone who actually read this, I'm sorry but it's a lot easier for me to keep up with a pen and paper BOS than it is a blog.

So yesterday was a Super Moon and I didn't get to do any rituals.. Last month I froze negativity out of my life as well as specific negative people. It's been working so far, so last night I did include request for it to be renewed it in my prayers..

I also asked to be revisited by a Goddess who I technically worshiped while I was Christian and didn't realize it until She started changing me to act more like Her. Freaked my little Christian self out when I realized what was happening. Anyway, I apologized to her for my previous reaction, and asked her to visit me again.

Grounding. I've grown so much in Grounding. I am reading THE ELEMENTS OF RITUAL by DEBORAH LIPP and she explains it so well. She also emphasizes centering. Grounding and Centering are not the same, but they co exist in the same ritual. She opened my awareness of what I was doing and what the point is of grounding and centering.

I have previously stated that I don't care much to learn magick. The more I understand, the more I realize.. magick is unavoidable. Simply staying positive, and being grateful for the gifts of life, is creating positive magick. Magick is the energy you have in your body right now, it is the spirit in you, love, passion, even hatred. Magick is everything and everywhere. Even Christians use it, with every prayer and every breath of hate... Learning to use magick correctly and how to harness it is not essential to being a Pagan. But experiencing Paganism without Magick is like trying to be a lake with no rain. A lake is just a valley with no rain.

Anyway. I felt the need to express I'm still here, I'm still Pagan, I still love my Lord and Lady.

Catching up

Its been a few days since I posted. I have been off the Wiccan path, life getting in the way. Dealing with family and people above me and attempting to work more. I even forgot Meditation Monday. I will have to do it this week, so I can try to keep the weekly habit.

Changing faiths can be tough. There is still so much I don't know. I mean I know that the search for knowledge and understanding is never ending but I'm even noob in the basics. Basics! I can't even discover the meaning of snakes in my life. (Probably a good topic for meditation..)

After getting some mandatory life stuff out of the way.... the rest of the day will be dedicated to meditation, and reading. I will also work with energies and grounding myself. Basics.

The full moon. I had no idea what to do for it. "To Frolic" isn't exactly descriptive and, again, life got in the way of looking anything up. I didn't even remember to cleanse and charge my miniscule collection of crystals in time to actually attempt it.

Alright, time to stop procrastinating.

Let's talk about Sex

Here is something else I agree with Wicca on: Sex is sacred, reverent. Two people making love brings joy and wonder, not guilt and shame. Sex is treasured and revered. Thank the Lord and Lady, I can be bi in and don't have to hide it. I can publicly support others right to choose their orientation. Another of my Christian chain has been broken! I now have zero reason to believe masturbation is an act of sin. (yes I believed this when I was younger, sometimes -rarely- the fear still pops up)

I am not a slut, I have had very few partners. But being polyamorous, oh my word. It is so nice to have beliefs that agree, that don't clash like polyamory and Christianity. I don't know how likely it is I find another mate, but if I do, my beliefs mirror Wicca's. Sex is to be revered, but celebrated, which means to be careful who or how many partners you have (don't be a slut) but definitely not to be celibate either. I am suddenly extremely sad for all the nuns.

Lord knows I love sex too much to be celibate. Here's a quote from Wicca for Beginners, pg 33:

You are sacred. Your body is sacred. Your vagina is sacred. Your penis is sacred. You Don't put anything that isn't sacred into your sacred body. And you don't put your sacred body into anything that isn't sacred.

Introducion to Sabbats and Esbats

These words sound funny to me, they taste funny, they feel funny, but hopefully I will come to understand and love these Pagan Holidays.

Esbat: The time of the full moon which is celebrated monthly. The word is French and means "to frolic". I have no Earthly clue what to do to celebrate an Esbat, but I wrote down when the next twelve Esbats will be.

January 15

February 14

March 16

April 14

May 14

June 12

July 11

August 10

September 8

October 7

November 6

December 5

Sabbat: A great festival of observance of the Pagan year (there are eight sabbats per year). The word is Greek and means "to rest". Again, no clue on celebrations. But I wrote these days down, too.

Febryary 2, Imbolc

March 21, Ostara

May 1, Beltane

June 21, Midsummer

August 1, Lammas

September 21, Mabon

October 31, Samhain

December 21, Yule

I was wondering if any of the Esbats coincided with a Sabbat, but it makes sense if they don't now that I know the meanings.. You can't rest and frolic at the same time!

Wicca, Witchcraft or Paganism?

Which Witch is right for you? Well, I've established that I don't need to declare a path yet, and Wicca is (so far) homy to me, but that doesn't mean I can't keep reading about Wicca, traditions, paths, everything.

Before, I looked up Wicca vs. Witch. This time I'm also checking out Pagan.

I found this video to be a nice change from my normal reading. It includes lovely music too!





Since I am not on a path, I am not Wiccan, I don't think I'm a Witch, and I haven't done any rituals to devote myself to anything, I can consider myself Neo-Pagan. I do believe in Animism and Pantheism.

Hmm. This is much shorter than I anticipated. I just didn't think I already had my answers..

Yesterday I nearly bought a stuffed animal. A very long stuffed snake. My perception of snakes is being altered, slightly. Perhaps all it is is my fear of them ebbing away. I hope so, because I'm tired of being terrified. As for slithery sightings, noting stands out. Nothing worth reporting, anyway. In this case no news is better than bad news. As for my research? No news here either. Snakes and mythology are two peas in a pod, I guess because there are snakes all over the world and have been since there have been people to create deities. 

I got my first book yesterday. Wicca for Beginners, Thea Sabin. I take this as a sign that I am meant to read this one first. So far it is very Wiccan with a side of Witchcraft and a Paganism taste test. This is very good for me, and has drawn lines between the bits I knew before. I am definitely going to need to re-read this when I get through though, just to fully absorb/grasp what she has to say.

Divination: Tarot

The use of an object to see the unseen.

As I've said, I would very much like to learn some form of Divination or other. The ones I'll be looking up first are Tarot, Runes, Numerology, and Scrying. But if I do try divination, I'll only do one. I am using this site to do my initial research.

What do I know, presearch?
All I know about Tarot is it's complicated. Each card has two meanings, one right side up, the other when the card is upside down. Even when these cards have such specific meanings, a lot is up for interpretation. Which.. doesn't make sense.. I also think tarot is good for long distance, non specific readings. Tarot uses the energy of the person it is meant to read. Magick I guess.

Tarot
Using a divination wheel, you can use the cards to reveal what the next twelve months might be like. (I say might with the understanding that nothing in the future is set in stone. Future events can and will change depending on our choices.) You can also ask the cards a question, and cut the desk in three. The answer comes in three ways, past, present, and future.

Then it goes on to talk about the meanings.. Not sure about you, but I'm not really up for all those descriptions.

Divination: Numerology

The use of an object to see the unseen.

I would very much like to learn some form of Divination or other. The ones that I am interested in (as an uneducated young Pagan) are Tarot, Runes, Numerology, and Scrying.. (and palms!) Whatever I choose, I'll only choose one. The methods mentioned here are Astrology, Colors, Crystals, Dreams, Feng Shui, IChing, Moon Power, Numerology, Runes, Seasons, Scrying , Tarot, Trees. (My spell check is not happy, half that list had red squiggly lines.)

Hey look, I know .0001% of Divination, Numerology. (from trying to find my Magickal name). Numerology was fun, the bit I learned. I should go back and look for my magickal name.. The ones I liked that day just didn't stick.

Numerology
Through this website I found my five core numbers. Most of these were holy guacamole Batman. And others were not me at all. The five core numbers represent your life path number (aka the blueprint that outlines your life), your expression/destiny number (represents strengths and weakness, and what drives you through life), your personality number (this represents how you appear to strangers), your heart's desire number (or what fuels you to do what you do) and your birth day number (somehow this reveals a talent that you may not have at birth). Curiously, I added all my numbers together and reduced them to a single digit (as you're supposed to with Pythagorean Numerology) and it was the same number as my birth day number. None of my other numbers are the same.

Brief History
The numerology we have today can be credited to the theories of the Greek philosopher Pythagoras, who lived around 590BC.

To research later: Tarot, Runes, Scrying

Internet ramblings

More on the search for snakes in relation to Deities... According to The Keep, Apep is a giant evil water snake, opposing Ra (the sun God). I read rather far into this before deciding Apep has nothing to do with my issues. But the tab has been open on my browser for days, and it needed to be marked off.

I'm going to regret this later, but I'm about to do an image search on snakes. See if I can find something that looks like the one I met in meditation. It was a dull green, but green enough that you could easily see that it was green, and it did have markings. though I couldn't explain them in detail. (Later: The closest I found was a rat snake, and I didn't regret looking as much as I thought I would. The images did make some of the snakes look more realistic, but I take that as a sign that those snakes were figments of my imagination. I think I confronted my fear with the search. I'm slightly less terrified.)


About my personal path, I read this and it really hit home for me. By Ashe Isadora on The Celtic Connection Forums:

Lots of people start out as eclectic pagans.  Down the road you might find one path that really sings to you, but some people stay eclectic for a long time.  Just keep seeking, meditating and reading and don't feel pressured to commit to a path or tradition at this point.  If the one does come along that's right for you it's like falling in love. You'll KNOW it.  Til then it's fine to play the field.

And yes, I plan on playing the Witchy field☺. But right now my path is not about choosing something, it's about relearning everything. Listening to the Deities. It's about discovery, and changing your life one step at a time. Christians couldn't make me act "Christian", but being a Witch might...

Another post from TCCF, this time by Gimli:

 I started out similarly but followed three things....
1) My heart and instinct
2) Looked at my interests
3) Read (and am still reading) everything I can when I can.

Your journey will not be a sprint. It's a long, sometimes fast and others times leisurely, winding way. For a time you may study one area, and then suddenly be drawn into another. Or you may study several at once.
As I and others have been told: read, read some more and when your done then start reading some more.
Go for what sings right and true in your soul.
Now, studying the basics should be a given....all those "common" things like what the tools are and taking notes and such. But WHICH tools and such will depend on what you feel drawn to.
And don't feel as if you have to know everything right away...this is a continuing and constantly evolving process for each of us.
As was said by others....keep reading, studying, asking questions and meditating. Trust when we say at some point when it's right for you the answers will come!

Hmm. I looked up Wicca vs Witch, now I think I need to do the same with Witch vs Pagan.

Wicca or Witchcraft?

Lynxspirit is now being added as a bookmark. This is a kick in the face. A kick meaning I need to look into other pagan traditions, other than Wicca. First up, Wicca vs Witchcraft.

My second link is way too long to absorb in one sitting. That page crosses my eyes, but it is very informative about everything. So far, I learned this little tid-bit: 'Pagan' can be used like 'Christian', they are both a very broad term. Then you can be specific and use 'Wiccan' or Baptist'.

My third link explains, in a less head-achy way what link two states. But this time I retained more of the info. (In this instance, 'generally' means there is a percentage.. I simply don't know the math here.) Witches generally only pay reverence to the Goddess, where in Wicca they keep balance by paying homage to both the God and Goddess. Witches generally don't believe in Karma, or the three-fold law, where Wiccans do.

Wicca is like Christianity in many ways. The only real differences lie in actual ritual practice and the acceptance of a female deity.

[A Witch] does not feel the need to advertise to the world that she is a Witch. She is content spending her time with her family, becoming attuned with Nature, studying herbs, and simply enjoying her life. She knows who she is and does not need the approval of society in order to feel whole.

When it comes to this Witches' opinion of Witchcraft vs Wicca, I straddle the line. I believe what Wiccans believe (so far, anyway)  but I also feel that the paragraph about a Witch not needing approval, that's me too.

Fourth Link is really awesome because they try to boil it down to essential, core beliefs. (Today it's very hard to read because I'm still very very tired, even though I slept from about 9:30pm- 10am.. so boiled down versions rock socks.) If I said any more, I might as well copy and paste.. You, yes you with the eyes, reading this, GO! CLICK! READ!

Fifth link is a little long but not bad, especially in comparison to link two. It was actually a nice read, if you ignore the headache of the quote sounding like great grandma praying.. thee's and thou's.. I don't understand this anymore.

I will edit this when I read more of link two.. And clearly I didnt retain any of link five so I'll re-read and add more to it as well.

Recite before you drive ;)

No idea if this is a spell or a prayer or what...

Think Kelly Clarkson, "Because we belong together" Start at "I guess this means you're sorry"

Lord & Lady Bless me
as I drive today
Help me to stay safe
& keep the cops at bay

A rose with any other name..

Well I was going to make a post all about the traditions and my thoughts on them. Half of what I found was merely explanations of how they were started. Why would I reblog that? There's already a million 'histories of''.

So I've decided to come up with a public magickal name. Some witches have two magickal names, a powerful one they keep to them selves, and a less powerful one they share publically, or with those who are close. I have no idea what my real magickal name is, if I ever find it it'll be because the deities told me, and I listened. But that one will remain secret.

I've written a list. Three names are.. well, not real names. One being "Compass". The other fifteen names come from searching meanings on babynames.com (don't tell me you've never done this..) I was going to publish the names I like, but a someone (not sure who, or what) is keeping me from doing so.. I think I'd be wise to listen..

On my quest, I found a post by Lynxspirit, finding your magickal name. At the bottom she (she?) talks about using numerology to find your birth number. I couldn't figure out mine (brain fart, blond moment) so I went looking for more answers. I found a site on numerology, and I highly recommend you look for yourself. Mine ended up being dead on. What's ironic.. my birth name and my birth number are an exact match. Creepy. And It's funny to me, a Goddess I once admired, her name and mine match in numerology.. I admired her because I felt we were alike.

Cross-referencing my top 18 names with my birth number, two match perfectly. Now I may be on to both my real magickal name, and my public one. This is fun, except I don't know which is more powerful. I'll have to let it settle.

Incomplete Shadow Scare

(This was written on Monday, with additions on Tuesday. Hope you're not too confused)

Well, mediation in the shower is definitely not the best idea I've had today. But this lemon flavored Italian shaved ice.... mmmm. All I learned in the shower is spirit snakes have no qualms about appearing wherever I go. If things continue to get worse, at this rate, I'll be seeing them soon.. and not just in meditation!! Last night I could feel the weight of the snake on my leg, not uncommon, but moving the covers usually helps. The covers were pinned under the snake. It didn't help. It's getting harder and harder to sleep.

Damn now my shaved ice is gone.

Phone off.. Earphones.. Pandora.. Meditation melodies.. Comfy spot.. lights out.. Blindfold.. 

I don't know if I had a very good session or if I fell asleep. When I got up at 9 to put my kid to bed, I went straight to bed myself. Woke up around midnight with a headache (more on that later). Typed out the following paragraph then asked whoever was listening to remind me of what happened after this:

When I was ready, breathing in check, a tingling feeling all over, I asked which ever spirits were listening about snakes, their obsession with me. Aside from the distractions my brain caused, I first went to the first house I remember living in. It was more a future visit than a past one. The nameless, faceless new owners let me in. The house was bare, I got the impression this was because I don't know how it looks anymore. I went to one end and starting going room to room talking about things I remembered. When I reached the dining room I mentioned that's where I met my first spirit. The new owners didn't like that. I got the feeling they were very religious and I couldn't go any farther in the house. I asked the invisible guide why I was there and was reminded that this residence was where I met my first snake. 

Then I started to head somewhere else. All I remember is that the color was dark, perhaps even black. This doesn't mean 'dark', as in black magick or evil. It was dark like night. Had I not gone to bed so early, I would have remembered it. Perhaps that's the point. But going to bed so early, I had very few snake friends visit me. The few that did, I was less afraid of.

After midnight, when I woke up with a throbbing, splitting headache. I asked for help remembering the darkness. The being that offered to help wanted something in return. From what I read on Pagan demons, some call them shadows, this one fit the bill. I wasn't going to take the chance. So I sent the bastard away as I read I could. The headache went away in a few heart beats.

I feel this is incomplete..

Monies, beauty, research, public, Wicca, and Kosher.

Apologies for my absence. I've been absorbed in work, trying to make moneies. Maybe there's a candle for that? (an app for that.. a candle for that.. bahaha!) Not to make me rich, but to open people minds when thinking of doing business with me. Or does that go against the Rede? I don't want to go against the Rede.

Yesterday was a beautiful day. I was surprised when my weather widget told me it would be nearly 70° outside. And there was an excellent breeze. Sol (what I now call the sun) was so warm, I could feel him on my skin. I love that feeling. And of course today it isn't even 40°. I wish I had gone outside and meditated! Sadly, a stalker was out there and I was shaking in my boots. Witches fear no evil. Man, I wanna be a witch.

As for my snake search, as suggested by WR.. Hindu, Mayan, and Egyptian Deities do not speak to me. I'm wondering if I need to look up Celtic deities connected with snakes. Having a lot of Celt blood in me draws me to Celtic things, always has. But I'll keep going down the line till I reach Celtic. See what I find out. Until then, my snake visitors (or my paranoia of snakes..) have reached a new high. I'm thinking it has got to be mental, or a problem with my senses. It's happening more before/after entering sleep, and even while I'm fully awake. Which begs the question.. am I going crazy? Or am I seriously getting this many snake visits?

I wich I could go Witchy, publicly. There is a facebook page my bf brought my attention to (he is that awesome) anyway, its called Wiccan Parents and the section he sent me was a photo album with prayers, or songs, rhymes, spells, (whatever label you fancy) attached to the photos. I've started writing some down by hand. Since I can't 'like' it myself, I thought I would bring some attention to it in hopes that others may 'like' it in my absence.

What I learned about being Wiccan. I knew this before, but it really hadn't hit me yet. Wicca is the act of continuous reading, of everything, not accepting any belief by blind faith, it is absolutely doing your own research, even from things written by other Wiccans. Wicca.. let's be broad here. Being a Witch is about finding the path the Deities have laid out for you, even if it means believing a melting pot of religious babble. A part of one religion may make no logical sense, like Kosher. Christians typically don't eat Kosher. It doesn't make sense to them. But it makes sense to me (see below for more on Kosher☺ I just couldn't leave it out). I have my bible, NIV, and I am prepared to scour through Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and Acts. I am going to read, and take notes, and learn for MYSELF what does it say about the resurection? What does it say happens to Judas? I will read for myself the inconsistency, or lack there of. I also plan on reading about Gerald Gardnera and his idea of Wicca.

Am I Christian? If you look from my parents pov, no. If you look at it that Jesus, his mother Mary, and the Christian God are all mirrors of the same deity.. Yeah, you can say I'm christian.


Kosher: So, even though I'm no longer a christian, I Will Not eat pig, or lobster, or crab, or octopus, or a whole slew of things. I eat beef, chicken, turkey, salmon, tuna, locust if I have to. I also eat vegetarian food, and some vegan food. If it's made right it's awesome!

bewitching conversationsssssss

Note: I am trying to keep the identity of my acquaintance as secret as I do myself. I will refer to this Witch as "witch", "WR", "my acquaintance" or "s/he" (she/he).

A Witch is currently talking with me about snakes in the spirit world and their meanings. S/he asked if I've been bitten, which I have. Though I have no real world marks or scars. They have done this maybe.. 2, 3% of the time they've been around me. I am 22 years old, and they have been coming to me for about 20 years.

I continued to tell WR of my experiences. "The snakes sleep with me, lay beside me, if I'm on my back [they nip at me until I raise my back and they slither under the arch]. The snake I met in meditation was extremely realistic and climbed up my back to rest its head on my shoulder."

WR and I have different experiences. S/he meets them in a dream state. WR suggested it could be a sign from a snake god or goddess who may be trying to talk to me and that I might want to look up the different deities connected to snakes and learn about them. So far, Hindu Gods are not speaking to me. Up next: Mayan.

The other option, of course, is that I could have known about a totem/spirit guide all my life and been terrified of them. Do I smell a visit to the pet shop and a request to hold a nonpoisonous snake? ... I may have to drag my boyfriend with me. But in anycase, WR suggested I learn about the snake as a spirit guide.

Searching for: wicca+snake+totem
Result: Wicca Together (a blog): Over all, the snake represents: cycles, rebirth, patience, fertility, eternity, balance, cunning, intuition, awareness, healing, intellect, protection, solemnity, rejuvenation, transformation, hidden knowledge, gender supremacy (both male and female), Yin/Yang, and duality. First thing that pops out is that snakes represent the search for balance. I live a polyamorous lifestyle, my boyfriend has two girlfriends. It doesn't take a psychic to figure this out. Many Native American tribes held the snake in high regard (which is funny, because my bf who is native found out about my meditation scare with a snake and he told me snakes were bad omens before I showed him the links that suggest otherwise.) From the Celtic perspective, the snake was a symbol of secret knowledge, cunning and transformation. And to the Celts, the snakes ability to shed it's skin made, in their eyes, the snake a powerful symbol of rebirth and renewal. In India, naga (snake) are associated with the element of water which symbolizes emotion, love, and motion. Nagas were considered feminine and embodied nurturing, benevolent, wise qualities. And according to this blog, snakes represent the messenger, which is interesting considering WR's comment that they may be connected to a deity who hasn't figured out texting yet. (I would also like to note that of this is the cliff notes version...) Last... "Further, it should be understood this page is but a miniscule sampling of the diverse snake symbolic meaning's available to us. Therefore, I encourage you to slither into your own personal ruminations, research and meditation of the snake."

This next link is too long for my blood-shot eyes to digest so I'm linking it to read later and moving on.

The last one is short enough, I'll quote.

SNAKE: Wisdom, Healing, Initiation, the symbol of eternity
This a powerful totem -- it is the symbol of transformation and healing. The Snake is wisdom expressed through healing. It is a protector and guardian totem, along with its sister totems, the Dragon and the Serpent. If a snake totem has come into your life, your creative forces are awakening. Your intuition will sharpen and be more accurate. Snake energy is the energy of wholeness, cosmic consciousness, and the ability to experience anything willingly and without resistance. It is the knowledge that all things are equal in creation. It also signals a transition in your life. New opportunities and/or changes. Snake is fire medicine, the medicine of transmutation. On a material level, it is vitality; on an emotional level, it is ambition and dreams; on a mental level, it is intellect and power; on a spiritual level (the highest level), it is wisdom, understanding and wholeness. Snake magic is heavy magic. Become the Magician and transmute the energy and accept the power of the fire. The Snake is one of the symbols of Thoth.

Christians with pitchforks?

So I recently posted about a website that was talking about the fears of a Witch. Instead of making you hunt it down for the scarce sentences I posted, I'll incert it here:

I have not had time to read this, but feel I should. It seems everyone has a story of being hunted. Christians by the law, Witches by the Christians.

How to stay safe when the Christians come with pitchforks.

I've had a horrid thought of standing on the stake, some friend pulling my daughter away, and a torch getting closer.

Somewhere between midnight and 3am, I read through all the information that link provided. It was not a conspiracy about a Witch hunt (Goddess bless!) like I had originally thought. It was biblical quotes, from a Witch (a former Christian), using the bible to debunk the bible.. and ultimately that faith. The author was NOT giving us ammunition to tear down Christianity, or even suggesting that we try to. He/she/they were giving us a means of defense in case Christians come after us... with words. Like the guys that go door to door, if you politely turn them down and they're pushy and it comes to a polite debate, reading that blog will help you. Family, neighbors, friends. This knowledge is not meant to be used to create battles, but to defend ones self when battles arise.

For me specifically, that blog helped me with closure. Being former Christian and having very strong blind faith, it was nice to see reason that the path away from Christianity was right for me. No deepest circle of hell for choosing the path of a Witch.

Now I must state than I truly believe that Christianity is the right path for a big huge hulking mass of people, to make it to a positive, enjoyable afterlife. I can also say with 100% belief that Jews, Muslims, and African religions are all the correct paths for the masses of believers, all leading to the same pleasant afterlife. But those religions just aren't right for me.

I've always believed a connection to nature is key to understanding the deities. As it is winter and most magick is dead, there isn't much for me to learn outside. But I will be acquiring books, and I am trying to read more online even though I feel like the internet is a dead end here.

Wicca for beginners

I keep finding myself reading and re-reading these two forum posts, so I felt it a good idea to share the knowledge. To make it easier on myself, I'm going to stick with the titles they chose. Happy reading.

Read THIS if you want to be Wiccan (this guy is funny. seriously funny. though I have to admit, I have begun to feel a pull to buy black clothes and a black cat - and I shall call him licorice!)

I'm interested in Wicca. How do I get started? (this is not a step by step. it is however general guidelines to starting out)

candle magick

Research

I shall need an alter. I shall need to make one in my room. I shall need a flat surface and a cover (white is a multipurpose color). Incense symbolizes air and is highly recommended, but it's Witches choice. (they recommend three kings and vervain, but urge you to make it your own)

A prepared Witch: (copy and paste. It all seemed too important to mince words.)

Prior to your spell working prepare yourself a nice relaxing bath. Add a hand full of sea salt to get your charges set where they need to be. Light a few candles, turn off the light and relax. Clear your mind of the junk you have picked up through out the day. Visualize the water washing all the negativity away from you. It is very important that your mind be at ease and clear prior to any spell working.

Candles can come from anywhere as long as they are cleansed and consecrated. From a store, they recommend beeswax candles because it comes from nature and is more powerful. (mine sadly will be the cheapest store bought items. One day I will proudly make my own.) To cleanse and consecrate: "Submerge the candle in sea salt and the ask The Lord and Lady to bless it using words from your heart." Then we dress the Candle. The author recommends lotus oil. "To bring something to you, rub oil on the candle in a downward motion from the top to the middle and then from the bottom to the middle. To send something away from you...you rub the oil from the middle of the candle out to the ends. Dab the remaining oil from your fingers onto your third eye and on your breast bone. Then say the following: I cleanse and consecrate this candle in the name of the Lord and the Lady. May it burn with strength in the service of the light. Then state the purpose of the candle."

There is also use of an athame if you want to read it, the link is at the top of the page.

the next step

Books. Books. Reading. More books. More reading. Booksbooksbooksreadingbooksbooksreading!

Yes. Have I repeated myself enough? Books, reading the books, buying more books, taking notes, rereading books I just read.... and so on until my brain in numb and my eyes and fingers are sore. I smell papercuts.

Why read books when I have the internet? Because you have to know what you're looking for on the internet, you have to know where to start, you have to know what to look up first, second, and third. The books I want to read are targeted for beginners. They answer my questions even the ones I didn't know I had. They connect the dots between things I know about and things I'm just starting to learn exist. They draw a pretty little picture and explain everything. As it is now, my knowledge is basically a box of puzzles with a ton of missing pieces.

So what is my next step? ... The bookstore.. Or Amazon.

Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200

There was a progression going, of understanding. wisdom in Wicca, and now I feel like I've halted.There is only so much I can read online. I can't start my Year and a Day until after Feb. 2. Why? The advice given was... "during winter months between Dec 25(ish) - Feb 2..." something something there's not very much magick in  the world because everything is in a death state. BASICALLY: they don't recommend diving in when the water is shallow. You'll hit your head on the bottom and wish you hadn't.

I should light a yellow candle when studying for help with memory. I'm actually thinking of lighting a white candle in a bit and praying to The Goddess. But Wait! There's more! ... Studying that is. I have a lot more to read about candle magick before I attempt it. I've basically only learned what the candle colors represent.. Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200. Monopoly humor.

This morning while driving, I felt the power of the warmth of Sol and prayed to the Great Horned One. I hadn't specifically targeted him yet, and the moment felt right. I introduced myself with the understanding that he didn't need an introduction - I did it anyway. I was jabbering on and on, thanking Him for my child, asking that He look out for her while shes away, thanking him for the womderful, wonderful man in my life. I hate to admit, I got teary eyed and Sol only got warmer. I feel we are at a good place.

Wow. This post got off track. It was supposed to be about learning what my next step is.

the fears of a Witch

I have not had time to read this, but feel I should. It seems everyone has a story of being hunted. Christians by the law, Witches by the Christians.

How to stay safe when the Christians come with pitchforks.

I've had a horrid thought of standing on the stake, some friend pulling my daughter away, and a torch getting closer.

Note to self

All this is is notes to remind myself of things..

A great song for meditation is Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap. Listening to it makes me calm, my breathing smooths out, and my heart slows down. I know this because I was a ball of goofs before I played it, and was completely sober after. (edited.. during meditation, NO. Before, yes.)

I need either the Witches Calendar, or the Witches Datebook.


I need to read this how-to on Wiccan meditation before my next meditation. (work has gotten in the way of my Wicca reading)


Talk to WR about snakes.


Take a rose bath before meditation.

Read Hernes Ramblings.

Bewitching lullubies for the itty-bits

The title should be pretty self-explanatory.
Since I am a mother, I find these useful and
am looking forward to adding these to the
nightly song list. Maybe now I can remove
some of the pro-Christianity ones. Not that
I'll take Jesus away from my child. My boy-
friend does not believe in Jesus, but he feels
his children ought to be raised Christian for
morals and for a good base for them to build
their own beliefs on. I was raised Christian
and turned out alright... So for now I guess I
can agree with him. Just this once. Lol ;) Link

Now I lay down in my bed,
And pull the covers up to my head.
I'll dream of dragons and fairies bright,
And pixies and wizards and elves tonight.
I'll dream of some sort of magical place, and
wake in the morning with a smile on my face.

Day is done, it's time for bed
Goddess bless my sleepy head
Earth and Water, Air and Fire
Bring gentle dreams as I retire
When the morning sun does rise
The God will bless my open eyes

O golden light,
O silver light,
Please, weave your web around me
And protect me through the night.
My day is done, my night begun,
With dreams before me found.
I shall sleep in peace and light,
My protective circle bound. 

The sun has set, it's time for bed.
Goddess bless your sleepy head,
By Earth, Air, Wind and Fire,
Bring good dreams as you retire,
And when the sun decides to rise,
God please bless your open eyes.

Is meditation... magick?

Someone told me I should never do magick if I'm not feeling 100% in response to my Messy Mediation post. Wha-wha-whaaaat now? Meditation.. magick? To me, mediation has always seemed like another normal thing people do. Like yoga. Or baseball. Not for everyone, but common nonetheless. I saw meditation as a deeper form of prayer. But then.. I was assuming.. and I never did read into what it really is. I've looked into how to do it but not the definition. So much for taking it slow. So this post will be all about what meditation is - starting with the definition, to whatever I find.

(side note: I don't know why Bing gets a bad rep. I literally just typed in 'meditation definition' and there was an answer, top of the page, without clicking any links. How easy?)

DEFINITION - Bing

1. Emptying or concentration of mind: the emptying of the mind of thoughts, or the concentration of the mind on one thing, in order to aid mental or spiritual development, contemplation, or relaxation
2. Pondering of something: the act of thinking about something carefully, calmly, seriously, and for some time, or an instance of such thinking
3. Serious study of topic: an extended and serious study of a topic

ENCYCLOPEDIA - Merriam Webster (there were fewer definitions here than what Bing supplied. I'm adding only new info. Dictionary.com didn't supply anything new.)

Private religious devotion or mental exercise, in which techniques of concentration and contemplation are used to reach a heightened level of spiritual awareness. The practice has existed in all religions since ancient times. In Hinduism it has been systematized in the school of Yoga. One aspect of Yoga, dhyana (Sanskrit: “concentrated meditation”), gave rise to a school of its own among the Buddhists, becoming the basis of Zen. In many religions, meditation involves verbal or mental repetition of a single syllable, word, or text (e.g., a mantra). Visual images (e.g., a mandala) or mechanical devices such as prayer wheels or rosaries can be useful in focusing concentration. In the 20th century, movements such as Transcendental Meditation emerged to teach meditation techniques outside a religious context.

 Alright.. I have my definition.. and I don't feel very enlightened. And none of it feels like magick.

What is Meditation? Well I found a very helpful post on this, but nothing is copy-and-paste. I guess there are alot of people who e-steal. To paraphrase, they say Meditation IS NOT anything I've read so far. It is however "a state of profound, deep peace that occurs when the mind is calm and silent, yet completely alert." If you read their paragraphs in whole, this one sentence seems to contradict the rest. Maybe I'm just misunderstanding.. And on the same link, you'll find what meditation isn't. Including concentration, mental effort, and exercises (like breathing and posture). They also talk about health benefits, and stress relief.

Back to my original question: Is meditation magick? Not from that pov.
My secondary question: What is meditation? This depends on who you talk to, but I think everyone can agree that meditation achieves a.. tranquil state of mind.

Another source's quote: "If you light a lamp and remove all the objects surrounding it, the lamp will still go on giving light. In the same way, if you remove all objects from your consciousness, all thoughts, all imagination, what will happen? – only consciousness will remain."

My conclusion: Meditation is confusing. And tricky. But Magickal? The world says no. But if you're Wiccan, yes. Now, I'm much too tired to read this next link fully.. Honestly I've only gotten through the intro paragraph and the list of things you'll need. But hey, I've been up late again doing two hours worth of research into this and I feel as enlightened as when I started. How to do Wiccan Meditation

Now once again, it is time to schedule this post so it publishes at an appropriate time, and time for me to hit the hay.